the Punctuality of Punctuating the Punctuation a method to my madness.

ive stayed up all night after 2 hour energy drinks and i started to rhyme incessantly. So here is some of the stuff i was babbling about.

This is what i was taught. I didn’t make sense of what i had got.

I will not sooth say  whats beyond these lines is not whats behind these rhymes. And the likes of such nonsense.

Times spent well beyond the reason of the rhymes beyond the times for the reason of the rhymes, beyond the times.

Not a metaphor of lies, verily it is a product of the times.

As I walked down the alley way mirrored by the entity of my own mental self I recognize little yet knew much;

a sentient being within the boundaries of time and space yet in the gutter of idol dreams rambling about much;

I thought,  is it the rot of my brain that is insane or is it? i thought…;

But then there was the neurotic, was it the neurons or was it me being a moronic.

These pop-ups attacking my head are memories of what was said.

Was I dead? i thought…;

Dr. Seuss, heh it rhymes with Zeuss, with loose and Jésus. But was there a reason? Nay it was yet another association.

What the doctor said was that I needed to take the medication. Did he just say asphyxiation?

A remedy;

for the reason I’ll disagree.

Then i thought, or so i thought, so then i needed a thesaurus.

Apart from the “Emmanuel” within us.  Its the sin livin’, or so was the way i thought;

Hence the way i was taught.

What i thought was what i thought.

As i wrote I realized that what i had was a response to the thought of the action and the action behind the action was a thought.

Thought as action, action as thought.

It became a duality to recognize the reality.

So I’d better think of something new to do.

Before death greets with questioning what i know of my spirituality.

i could go on but it would be like a crime murdering…. poetry. which i hate because of my own short comings. but thats not a problem ill get some more extenze.

randomness….what a word. too bad its not mine or id copyright it and sue everyone who uses it. of course id donate at least half of the earnings to NARSAD and NAMI what i like to refer to as the dual saviors of the mind and spirit of the underdog.

http://www.nami.org/

&&

http://www.narsad.org/

http://www.afmracing.org/index.php

2008 AFM #5 Martin Szwarc 2008 AFM #6 Dan Sewell

2008 AFM #7 Peter O’Sullivan 2008 AFM #8 William Fox

2008 AFM #9 Liko Keola Miles 2008 AFM #10 Garret Willis

pictures are fun arent they? i kinda thought for a second i might not need a motorcycle i would kinda live vicariously through pictures like these. i mean i pretty much do the same for sex so why not? eh… and thats pretty much how i like to spend my time.

 

The blood of the martyr. is…but the ink of the scholar is…

———————————~~~~~~~~~>when i was younger i smoked 6 cigarettes at the same time

—————————-~~~~~~~~~~>> i wanted to see how far i could make the buzz go

——————————~~~>>with weed does the joy of it all ever go away

?

but

———-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>i guess you’re right the buzz does go away

———–~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>i think, however, that you should stay

system_pause: thats a kind of poem

system_pause: a sorta haiku

system_pause: a tribute to you

system_pause: biaw too

 

fuck it all

 

After the chat room bans me

Now I’m banned from 2 chat rooms, #schizophrenia on irc.ircstorm.net and #schizoaffecitve on the same server.  I’m not going to say why it is. But what I will say is that I think its bull shit, someone gets to be an op or administrator of the room after a very short time, and bans me, then isn’t understanding at all of the fact that i go there for support. but what support do i get exactly? I’m not really sure any more. I don’t think I get support let alone need it. I’m maturing into what I would call a fine young “sudo killall”. Thats Linux speak for shutting down all processes running. But how can I be sure that is true any more, I haven’t used the Linux operating system for about three or more months now. Theres a deep seated hatred that I have for society yearning to be unleashed upon the world. Which has very little to do with my condition. I lack the understanding of free will and see my conviction absolute. I wonder if it has anything to do with an australian 26 year old female who goes by the name Piper.

 

New Room on IRC

join me for a chat on irc on the server irc.ircstorm.net

channel #mental_illness_chat

 

pome time

i walked to the bar to purify my thirst,
but ditched it and the place i went first was the 7-11 down the road,
dragged down in a depeche mode awakened myself up through wicked rhymes-
lets get with the times. ny times la times seattle times is there a method to these carcinogenic sporadic crimes?
See here now;
For the Purification of your heart,
For the Clarification of your mind,
and for the sake of time unwind.
In time the condition will be rectified, enemies reneged, and with great wordly herse;
When once i walked into a bar and quenched my thirst.

 

The Life of health in a nutshell ☺

I’ve given a lot of personal information to a friend online for the sake of an exchance of  for work at the local CVS. Time will only tell how smart that was of me, and how stupid I could be for having been so paranoid yet so gullible. All the signs seem to be there for identity theft …checks alignment of constellations on the horizon…  Last night i bought some Extenze from a convenient store, for which i will now be labeled a sucker by…me? Didn’t work, maybe in another 3 years I’ll try something like it again, when it actually works…

 

Recovery from Schizophrenia is a Possibility. Have Hope.

I’m finding that the most important thing in order to have a good coping strategy in any condition is to have trustworthy friends who support positive goal setting. The research has shown that people who recover from this condition more often than not have good family support. As far as I’m concerned a therapist and a psychiatrist can be considered as family, but only in the sense of the support they give for the condition and not necessarily for the overall wellbeing of a person, although that could be the case too. To me as a person with a disability its important for others and my family members to realize that the relationship between caregiver and myself isn’t one of a teacher to a student, and its certainly not one of a master to a slave. To me it’s about having a relative act relatively. Its my opinion that the most important thing I have noticed that can make or break recovery is a strong sense of attachment to the world. In any sense because I feel that when i have friends who i can emotionally invest in with a friendly return without fear of discrimination I tend to find myself contributing more to society even though at the same time i find society the most adverse thing to my condition. Which sounds like a contradiction, but theres one word that will take the mystery out of this. Stigma.  I’ve spent many years searching for answers to this problem and probably one of the best answers I’ve found has been NAMI.

The National Alliance for Mental Illness. I have found people with a similar condition to mine who say that NAMI is not charity worthy because they support one of Bush’s plans for all people with a serious mental illness to be forced to take medication. Although I can not verify this I do feel that if  it is true it’s bitterly opposed to the principles of empowerment which although would have the same ends gives people the choice, but either way NAMI does an excellent service to the nation by teaching people about what mental illnesses really are, that recovery is possible, and it advocates for the rights of the consumer.

Down with racism,

Down with stigma,

Down with greed,

Down with the sickness.

 

a belief that i hopefully share with other muslims

I have been enlightened!-   i see now the brilliance of a 2 state solution, between Israel and Palestine. Obama is the greatest american ever, as far as i can tell.

 

knowledge should be free